i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize