i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
