so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize