you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize