I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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