I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
