There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
