i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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