God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
