names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize