i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
