i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
