Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
