i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
