so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
