my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize