I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
