I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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