I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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