i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
