If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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