Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
