oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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