I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
