At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
