Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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