I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
