I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I believe in your delicious
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
