Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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