Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
