I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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