I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize