new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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