sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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