have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize