Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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