she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize