I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
