Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No subtext here. People are naked.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
