Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
