then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
only you would photoshop your dick
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
