She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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