I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
