would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
