so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
