i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just had sex bonerless
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
