she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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