I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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