Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
