Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
