yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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