Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
