From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
