How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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