I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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