I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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