Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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