ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
