i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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