I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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