On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
