Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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