I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
