Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
