he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize