He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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