He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
