Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
