I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
