just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
