his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
