Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
