doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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