Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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