O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
