Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

can you come get me at the bar

(301): View more from Maryland

ill be there in 10 min

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

can we stop off at build a bear on the way home

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...

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(810): View more from Michigan

Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..

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(571): View more from Virginia

Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.

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(906): View more from Michigan

He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.

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