I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
