dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
